I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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