Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
