i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm too high and old for this...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
