have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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