There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
