You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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