You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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