you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
