Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
