if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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