So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
