It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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