wanna go halves on a baby?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
