then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
