Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
