Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
