i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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