youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
