Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
barbara walters just said penis...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
