My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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