Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
