is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
