"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
