I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Welp...herpes.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
