Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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