So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
