There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
