Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
