Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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