the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
