The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Why can't burritos get me drunk
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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