sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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