I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Barsexuality is the new black.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
