in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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