AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
