Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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