I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
