were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize
