I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
