i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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