i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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