is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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