So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
