It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize