It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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