after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
