I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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