Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
