He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I got inside last night via doggy door
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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