How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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