at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
vagina is talking i cant
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
