dude i'm inner monologue high
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
