Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
