I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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