My brain says no but my pants say off.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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