return my video game
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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