At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Damn victory sex feels great
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