dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
