it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
